the ***** jowo
Tulisan nggak jelas dan tak bermutu sama sekali ini diambil dari yasbiethunder.wordpress.com jangan lupa buka blog nggak jelas itu ya!
Hai para pembaca yang budiman budiwati. Bertemu kembali dengan saya(siapa?). Kemarin mungkin adalah hari sabtu. Tetapi…sekarang adalah hari MINGGU!!dimana tadi malam/dini hari/pagi/apalah…..potugal berhasil mengalahkan turki!!. Biasanya kalau sekolah aku bersama teman teman sepermainan selalu senang jika arsenal kalah. Kenapa? karena Sugeng markinthil (teman seperjuanganku di smp11 yang penuh dengan kezaliman) adalah fans fanatik dari arsenal. Jadi kalau arsenal kalah bukan hanya Wenger yang menanggung malu tetapi dia juga juga dan juga. Rivalnya adalah Surya, jika ada pertandingan liga champion atau apalah mereka berdua tidak lupa bertaruh dan Sugeng tidak lupa kalah. Satu-satunya kemenangan sugeng adalah saat final champions league yang finalnya yaitu chelsea vs. MU disanalah Sugeng losers menang!dan sampai sekarang Surya belum membayar uang taruhannya. Itulah tidak enaknya jikala sedang libur puaaanjang atau prei panjang. Yang paling tidak enak saat libur adalah aku tak bisa bermain THE “KOCOK JOWO” FROM HELL. Karena itu adalah permainan favorit anak – anak smp11. Permainan itu bisa dilakukan dimana saja dan kapan saja. Inilah rincian dari permainan Keren itu.
KOCOK JOWO
pencipta : NN (kita sengaja menyembunyikan namanya untuk mengamankan dia dari pilisi).
alat bahan : sepatu(terserah jenisnya tetapu paling enak pake’ sepatu satpam), titit orang yang nganggur(basa jawanya cenggur), 5 orang tersangka dan 1 korban
cara kerja : tipu korban lalu pegang dari belakang. PERHATIAN=jangan kocok si penipu kasian dia(nanti nasibnya sama denganku 
). Pegan tangan kakinya dengan 4 orang tersangka lainnya. Jika korban sudah tidak berdaya giliran tersangka terakhir yang menendangi titit korban denga sepatunya(inilah kenapa lebih baik pake’ spatu satpam agar resiko korban terkena impotensi lebih tinggi). Jika sudah lelah dan korbah sudah tak berdaya buka celana serta kolornya lalu buang ke genteng sekolah. Korban sewajarnya adalah laki – laki jangan perempuan apalagi pacar anda nanti bisa – bisa SCTV(satu untuk semwaaa).
NB : jangan melakukan permainan ini dirumah!!lakukanlah disekolah. Muahahahahahaa
Biasanya jika kita melakukan permainan ini si korban adalah fajar dan 5 pelaku adalah : Okky,Ryan,Surya,Aswin,Aku biasanya tambah satu orang lagi Joko tapi Joko sukanya menjokobuta. Pernah waktu anak – anak gila itu mau tapi gagal mengocok aku karena joko bukannya memegang kakiku tetapi malah memegang kaki ryan(sipelaku). Maka itu kita jarang mengajak Joko. Kalian penasaran ciri – ciri mereka?ini DIAAAAA!!:
Okky
Orangnya kecil suka ketawa – ketawa sendiri kalau dimarahi guru alias GILA tetapi ketawanya paling keras kalau aku dimarahi guru. Biasa dipanggil gepeng lengkapnya gepeng itheng sudjiwo. Dipanggil gepeng karena tubuhnya seperti orang habis digencet truk. Orangnya sok keren kalau pelajaran. Paling suka tidur dan paling berhasil tidur kalau pelajaran PKN.
Ryan
Orangnya tinggi rambutnya kaya’ anak punk tapi jadinya malah kayak “pocong”. Panggilan kesayangannya adalah GOMBEL karena dia dulu menyamakan namanya dengan Ryan Giggs jika ada apa apa nulis namanya Ryan g. sebenarnya mau dipanggil GADUL tapi kita sepakat memanggilnya GOMBEL karena kulitnya hitam seperti gembel dan bajunya seperti gombal dan irisan dari kedua nama itu adalah gombel.
Surya
Orangnya jelek,tinggi dulu kita berdua pernah sepakat membotakkan rambut kita bersamaan dan hasilnya kita diejek habis habisan. Sejak saat itu kita tidak pernah potong gundul lagi. Keberuntungannya sangat tinggi. Dikelas orangnya sok tidak bisa pelajaran ipa dan waktu thb kita teman – teman HER dia tidak Her sendiri.Monyet.
Aswin
Orang paling sukses di gang kita. Rambutnya berdiri semua dan dia alergi balon(emang iya?). Alasannya karena takut meletus ketika bersentuhan dengan rambutnya(bokies). Mungkin kalu dia punya anak dan anaknya minta balon dia akan menjawab “nak ayah alergi balon” lalu istrinya memujinya “kamu pintar sekali menghemat uang pa besok kalau anak kita minta mobil – mobilan kamu bilang kalau kamu alergi mobil – mobilan aja ya..”
Aku
Orang paling ganteng di dunia. Cukup
Joko
Yang paling unik dari Joko adalah rambutnya mungkin bisa masuk MURI karena dari kelas 1(mingkin dari bayi sudah terlahir seperti itu) sampai sekarang Joko belum ganti potongan rambut(belah tengah) sampai disama samakan dengan guru biologi karena rambutnya sama(sebenarnya mukanya juga) dia tetap teguh dengan pendiriannya tidak mengganti potongan rambut. Nama panggilan:KI joko bodoh “weton”,si JACK dan JEKEK. Jika guru memberi tugas dan guru menyuruh untuk membaca satu persatu maka ketika Joko selesai membaca satu kelas bergemuruh bertepuk tangan sambil berterian histeris dengan sepenuh hati jika joko benar menjawab tugasnya seperti jika indonesia mencetak gol ke gawang brazil(katanya 10 taun lagi).
Fajar
Anak paling kecil di kelas 3a. Dari hasil penelitian kami ternyata tuyul adalah revolusi dari Fajar karena jika duduk disebelahnya pasti hari berikutnya kita sadar bahwa ada yang hilang dari kita(entah buku,gantungan kunci,bolpen tapi yang paling sering hilang adalah keperawanan)
Banyak pengalaman pahit ku bersama mereka diantaranya eaktu si ryan dan okky menutup rolling door di depan ruang BP ketika mau wudlu(biasa anak soleh) malah yang dimarahi aswin dan aku(oleh guru BP). Tapi yang paling parah waktu itu adalah bagaimana okky memprovokasi guru bp untuk memarahi aku dia bersandiwara ini dia(sial!)
Okky : gimana tadi to kalu kena kepalaku?
GBP:iya!kamu itu gimana nanti kalau kena kepala temanmu ini?!
Aq:lho pak bukan saya tadi saya cuma lewat!
GBP:Alasan kamu ini!minta maaf sama temanmu ini!
Okky:iya kamu ini!dasar anak nakal
Aq:maaf ki’
Sesampainya diatas aku bersama surya menghajar okky sampai kualahan.KAMPRET!. Tapi Okky mendapat karmanya hahaa. Setelah selesai makan rujak didepan sekolah, tepatnya dekat penjual mie ayam kita bersorak kepada si penjual BU RUJAKNYA ENAK!LEBIH ENAK DARI MIE AYAM!HARGANYA JUGA LEBIH MURAH!. Setelah selesai rencananya mau masuk sekolah loncat pagar di depan ruang BP(ini bukan hal mudah!tinggi pagar sekitar 2m dan jika ketauan hukumannya bolah balik loncat pagar 50 kali). Aku dan okky yang mengawalinya dengan teman – teman kopet di belakang kita mereka malah berteriak maling maling. Tapi untungnya Surya sigap ketika melihat guru bp yang melihat tindak kriminal kita ini dan memegangi kakiku sambil menunjuk jendela BP, alhasil hanya okky yang berhasil mendarat dengan tidak mulus di tanah sambil bilang “adoooooh” kita hanya bisa ketawa tapi okky belum sadar juga karena dia malah ikut ketawa kejadiannya lama hingga kita berhenti ketawa terbahakbahak dan menyadarkan okky bahwa ada guru bp dijendela yang tepat dibelakangnya. Okkypun melarikan diri dan sejak itu kita tidak pernah loncat pagar lagi. Itulah cerita yang sadis dariku walaupun pengalan tadi sangat pahit tapi aku tidak merasa terintimidasi(lho?!).
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