AKU (Sangat menginginkanmu)
Aku pernah merasakan sebuah cinta yang tak akan pernah bisa aku miliki meskipun sebesar apa aku berkorban tapi tetap aku tak akan pernah bisa mendapatkan cinta itu.
Aku berjalan menyusuri sebuah cerita yang membawaku pada sebuah cerita tentang semua cinta, semua perasaan yang tak pernah bisa aku ungkapkan. Lalu dengan semua itu aku bisa memiliki cinta sejati meski cinta itu memang tak selamanya menjadi milik ku, namun aku bahagia bisa merasakan jatuh cinta padamu. Dan aku pernah membuat hal bodoh dalam hidupku ketika aku berusaha mengejar cintamu dan menjadikanmu milikku tapi sekali lagi aku sadar cinta itu tak selamanya bisa menjadi milikku..
Saat ini jejakku tlah tiba untuk mengukir sebuah cinta.
Kehadiranmu memberi secercah harapan dijiwa ini.
Pada saat jiwa kita mulai bersatu untuk berjalan dalam satu kisah.
Aku ingin berikan segala yang ada didiriku untukkmu.
Aku ingin hadirkan mimpi indah dihidupmu .
dan aku ingin terus seperti saat ini meski putaran waktu akan memakan kisah ini
dan ketika saat aku sadar cintamu memang bukan untukku
aku akan terus selalu menyanjungmu
karena kau cinta dan kesejatian untukku..
Pada saat aku terus melangkahkan kaki ku untuk terus mengejar cintamu perjalanku tiba ketika engkau datang membawa bisikan untuk hati ini dan meningalkan bekas yang begitu besar didalam hati ini meski sekali lagi kau hanya bayangan ilusi untuk kisah hidupku meskipun ketika aku mengenalmu kau yang menggoreskan kebahagiaan itu untukku.
Satuan waktu terus berputar dan aku semakin menghilang ketika aku ingin menampakan ragaku didepanmu keberanianku hilang seakan seperti itukah diriku? Tak pantaskah aku untukmu?
Ah… aku bosan dan biarkan semua berjalan sesuai kehendaknya meskipun sungguh aku ingin bersamamu, tapi ternyata aku tak pernah bisa bosan kau tetap pembawa kebahagiaan untuk hatiku meski sosokmu semakin menjauh dari aku. Dan meskipun aku ingin meraihmu kau hilang membingungkanku ketika aku hendak menjalankan langkah cinta ini dan aku tetap saja hanya ingin terus bersamamu. Aneh? Tapi seperti itulah diriku inginkanmu..
Kemarin kulihat senyuman manismu hadir dilipatan mataku
Seperti bilang kaulah juwitaku,
Lalu pada saat senyummu mulai menyakitkanku akupun masih bertahan dan berharap kau tetap juwitaku..
Meski kuakui aku perih tak bisa denganmu tapi,
Rasa sayangku terlalu besar padamu mengalahkan segala rasa yang kumiliki untukmu dan
Terlalu indah kuganti dengan kebencianku padamu.
Juwitaku lihatlah mataku! Lihatlah binar cintaku memang untukmu
Juwitaku lihatlah lagi mataku! Kau akan tau betapa berharganya dirimu buatku dan tak pernah kupunya cinta seperti ini.
Juwitaku aku tak pernah berharap kau kan mencintaiku tapi aku hanya ingin kau tahu cintaku tak pernah berkurang hanya untuk satu namamu….
Aku terus berjalan tanpamu meski arahku tak pernah bisa jelas. Lalu aku menyusuri cerita hidupku meskipun lagi-lagi hampa ini terus membayangi langkah ini dan wajahmu seakan tak pernah bisa hilang mengisi hari-hariku bahkan setiap rongga yang ada ditubuh ini mengingat dirimu, karena mungkin aku telah memilihmu sebagai bagian dari cerita hidup ini.
Suatu saat aku ingin bermimpi denganmu, bersamamu dan menjadikanku bagian hidupmu dan keindahan bagimu tapi aku tersadar bahwa itu hanya mimpi dan aku memang tak bisa denganmu karena aku memang tak pernah bisa menyentuh hatimu.
Hanya ada satu keindahan
Yang selalu ingin kulihat tatkala senyumu merekah memberi arti untukku..
Hanya ada satu senyum yang membuatku ingin kembali disaat kita bermain disinggasan cintamu.
Aku ingin kendalikan cinta ini hanya untukmu..
Membuat senyummu yang berarti selalu menyungging menyapa dunia yang ingin cintamu.
Hanya ada satu kata yang ingin aku ucapkan untukkmu, sungguh aku mengagumimu dan tak berkurang perasaan ini kucurahkan untukmu.
Karena hanya ada satu senyum yang memberiku arti…
Senyummu Kekasih…
Putaran waktu dalam kisahku seakan terus terkikis oleh kenyataan tentangmu kenyataan tentang aku kehilanganmu dan tak tahu bagaimana caranya aku menjadikanmu kembali untukku. Aku bodoh melakukan itu padamu tapi hanya dengan cara itu aku ingin meyakinkanmu meski aku tahu aku tak akan pernah.. tak akan pernah bisa meyakinkan hatimu. Aku menyesal melakukan kebodohan itu padamu tapi aku tak bisa menahan rasa ini yang semakin menjadi-jadi meski harus lagi-lagi kau tak bisa aku dekati bahkan mungkin sampai aku menghilang dan tak kembali lagi pun kau tak akan bisa bersamaku.
Biasan cahaya itu kini mulai remang
Hamparan embun kini sudah menghilang
Dulu hati ini berkemilau ketika kemilau cintamu memancarkan cahayanya kehatiku..
Tapi kini cahaya itu telah hilang
Tak pernah ada lagi kemilau itu
Tinggal hati ini dan kekosongan jiwa ini…
Lalu saat ini semua menjadi seakan gelap…gelap dan sepi tanpa ketiadaanmu
tapi aku selalu menantikan kilau kemilaumu dihatiku…
Angin malam semakin terasa menusuk tajam sampai ketulangku dan menyadarkanku bahwa aku memang sendiri tanpamu meski bayang-bayang mu tetap saja menghantuiku. Lalu bisikan hujan yang turun malam ini membisiku ; bodoh kau masih merapal dia!! Ah.. aku tak perduli kau hujan tak pernah meraskan perasaan ini begitu besar untuknya jadi aku ingin kau diam dan membantuku menurukan hatinya untukku seperti saat kau turunkan hujanmu membasahi alam ini dan membawa kesegaran bagi yang menantimu begitupun hatiku yang menantikan hatinya untuk menyegarkan hati ini.
Dengarkan aku hai malam!
Bisiki dia tentang perasaanku
Dengarkan aku hai sunyi!
Aku berteriak lantang
Bisakah dia dengar?
Senua cinta ini, semua hati in?
Memang malam aku tak pernah bisa mengambil hatinya..
Tapi hai sunyi apakah kau tak bisa menyusupi hatinya dan sampaikan cintaku dihatinya ?
Ah… aku hanya bisa terdiam berharap
Dia kan dengarkan aku….
Hari ini aku mencoba melangkah dengan tidak mngingatmu lagi tapi memang berat aku menghilangkan rasa yang pernah ku ukir meskipun sebenarnya aku tak pantas mengukir cerita itu dan ketika saat nanti kaupun tahu mungkin kau akan membenciku dan tak inginkan aku lagi. Maafkan aku karena dengan cara apa lagi aku meyakinkanmu? Sementara aku merasa tak pantas denganmu! Tapi hati ini tak pernah ingin jauh darimu dan terus bercerita tentangmu. Aku pun tak bisa melawan perasaan ini. Aku ingin membuangnya jauh-jauh tapi aku tak bisa mungkin pada saat nanti aku menghilang.
Telah lama kucoba untuk menghilangkan kehadiranmu yang mewarnai kisahku
Telah lama ingin kuhapus kisahmu dicerita hidupku
Bahkan ketika detik-detik terus berputar aku tak bisa menghilangkanmu dan ketika detik-detik terus menjadi saat sekarang ini kau tetap saja mewarnai hatiku bahkan tetap tinggal didalam setiap ragaku ini.
Sekali lagi aku ingin menghilangkanmu tapi berulang kali aku tetap tak bisa….
Lalu ketika semua menjadi semakin meyakikanku tentangmu tapi aku tetap tak bisa menemukanmu bahkan memandangmu pun tak kutemukan lagi disetiap hela hari ku. Semua cerita yang ku buat denganmu mungkin akan menjadikanku kuat dan berharap kau menanti meski ribuan kali aku tak bisa. Kau terlalu jauh hingga aku tak bisa meraihmu lagi, kau terlalu gelap untuk kubisa menerangimu. Aku pun mencoba untuk tetap mananti hatimu untuk ku meski kini tak kan pernah mungkin.
Dear : Yang Tercinta
Ada seucap doa yang ingin kuucap padamu
Semoga kau bahagia dengan cintamu
Meski aku tak pernah bisa menyentuh ruang hatimu
Tapi aku bahagia bisa mencintaimu dan meski berat hatiku mengagumi dan mencintaimu tapi aku rela membiarkan kebahagiaanmu meski bukan denganku
Aku ingin sekali menggoreskan cerita indah dikisah hidupmu
Tapi aku memang tak bisa menggapaimu
Kau terlalu indah untuk bisa ku raih
Kau terlalu jauh untuk bisa kugapai
Kau terlalu beda untuk ku bisa menyamakanmu
Untuk yang tercinta…
Aku ingin kau senyum untukku
Senyum yang indah biar aku tetap menyimpan namamu
Aku ingin kau tertawa untukku
Biar aku yakin bahwa memang kau bahagia disana
Aku ingin kau memandangku
Biar kau bisa lihat tatapan mataku dan dalamnya hatiku
From : Arjuna
Aku terus berjalan meneruskan cerita ini meski hampa terus saja menemani langkah ini. Berat rasanya aku melangkah tanpa dirimu, tapi aku harus terus melangkah meski langkahku gontai, meski langkahku tak berarah. Kemudian aku sampai pada perasaan yang selalu merapal dirimu, aku terhenti sejenak dan sekali kumenoleh ternyata kau benar-benar hilang kau hilang bersama dengan kisahku.
Kau hilang bersama aku yang semakin hilang tanpamu.
Kemudian aku melanjutkan melangkahkan kisah ini. Lalu aku sampai pada saat kau dengan cintamu. Aku ingin bahagia untuk kebahagiaanmu meski hati ini ingin memilikimu.
Berjuta waktu telah habis untukkmu
Tetesan embunpun kini tak lagi meneduhkan hati ini
Kini tepian cintaku harus aku bawa kemana?
Sementara angan cintaku dan hati ini untukkmu…
Lalu aku coba berhenti sejenak
untuk berhenti mencintaimu
tapi aku tak pernah bisa
karena hati ini untukmu.
To be Continue……..
By : Arjuna
arzoena07@yahoo.com
July 26th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
huy……………..
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cRita km menYantuh bgt………..ak ampe nangis and terharu………
bLs commenT q yUa………
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sumpah keren banget…
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