Mimpi itu bernama “AKU”
Siang ini aku terduduk termenung di balik tumpukan semen yang telah terbentuk sempurna…
Aku terdiam berfikir pada suatu saat dimana aku bisa mengendarai “mobil sport” berwarana kemerahan dengan sorot lampu tajam buatan luar negri. Aku tak tau bagaimana rupaku ketika aku masuk ke dalamnya dengan harapan akan melaju dia atas kecepatan tinggi.
sesaat aku terhenyak, terbangun dalam kisah yang sebenarnya sangat ingin aku alami, Aku berfikir….
Dua belas tahun ini aku hanya membuang waktuku dengan waktu kosong pemberian zat maha kuasa yang harusnya aku manfaatkan. Aku tidak pernah berfikir bagaimana diriku merusak diriku sendiri dengan berjuta perilaku tak “manusiawi”. Semua ini tergambar seakan aku menyaksikanya dalam sebuah layar besar berisikan semua film tentang diriku sebagai pemeran utamanya.
Aku berdiri menatap diriku sendiri dan berkata, “Aku telah berhasil mencapai suatu kehidupan baru dalam ruang imajinasiku…”
Aku menatap diriku sendiri dan masih berkata, “Apa aku bisa ? lalu harus bagaimana aku?”
Aku menjalani hari-hariku bersama anak-anak seusiaku dan aku menemukan banyak rahasia dalam diri mereka yang belum pernah aku temui sebelumnya. Aku terdiam terangguk kaku dalam setiap pertanyaan yang mereka lontarkan. aku hanya mengangguk ketika mereka menceritakanku akan hidup yang pernah mereka alami.
Dari saat itulah aku mulai mengumpulkan kembali imajinasiku yang hilang karena diriku sendiri. Aku mulai menemukan arti hidup di saat aku mulai kehilangan semangat untuk memulainya. Semuanya datang begitu saja, tak bicara juga tak diam. Aku mulai mengerti diriku sendiri dan bagaimana cara memperlakukan diriku sendiri. Aku sadar kesempatan ini adalah “Gift” yang diberikan oleh tuhan untukku, untuk memulai hidup baruku dengan semua mimpi-mimpiku yang pernah aku kubur di atas ego dan pola pikir rendahku.
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