Surat Cinta dari Perang
Sayang,
Sedang apa kau disana?
Aku begitu rindu pulang, memagut mu hingga bermusim-musim.
Tahu kah kau?,
Hari tadi sangat penat, seperti berhari sebelumnya
Kami dipukul mundur,
Setelah peluru para serdadu itu tak sebanding lagi
Dan jiwa sudah letih
Aku lama bersembunyi dalam perdu
Kemudian susuri sungai tak berujung
Bagai dalam wangkang berlayar entah di laut belahan bumi mana
Perang ini entah apa yang dimenangkan
Dan entah kalah terhadap apa
Yang jelas buat ku, jika bahasa dan warna kulit berbeda
Maka kami bermusuhan, dan semestinya berbunuhan
Ku ceritakan pada mu…
Tak terhitung berapa nyawa sudah ku buat binasa
Juga seorang laki-laki kecil
Dan ibu nya, perempuan bercadar hitam
mereka dengan gagah berani mengacungkan pistol tepat di kening ku
bagai menciumku mengendap-endap
pernah juga ku tinggalkan seorang kawan yang sedang berjuang menjahit luka, sendirian, di antara rimba
Atas semua itu, tetap tak ada sesal…
Padahal aku masih tak mendapatkan arti
Sebab apa pertempuran ini?
Kalau tak takut akan mati, tak sedunia akan perang
Mungkin bagi mu aku zalim
Tapi bagi ku tunai tugas ku
Bagi mu aku tak berhati
Bagi ku itulah janji bakti
Dan kau pikir aku tak pernah menangis?
Deras…
Namun hanya didalam hati, hingga membanjiri jantungku dan berakhir sesak…
Ah, sudahlah….tetap kau takkan mengerti
Teringat tangis mu saat ku pergi
Menangis tak berhenti
Tak biarkan ku jelaskan semua alasan
bahwa Semua untuk mu,
Untuk kita,
Untuk masa depan,
Ku pikir kau dan semua orang akan mengerti
dan seharusnya ini hanya berjalan mudah
Seharusnya kau bangga pada ku
Karena seharusnya semua untuk mu…
Tapi masih kah kau tunggu aku pulang?
Atau kini kau telah berlayar bersama kapal yang lain?
Biarlah…
Yang penting setiap hari aku harus bermimpi
Bahwa suatu hari aku akan pulang
Dengan kau yang menyongsongku dipintu dengan tangan terbentang dan seribu peluk
Membawa serta bau bumbu dan kayu bakar yang khas di raga mu
Dan pada detik itu aku kan berjanji, tak akan lagi meninggalkan mu
Karena aku kan selamanya bersama mu, mengayuh biduk
Membesarkan si buyung dan menanti dia memberikan cucu untuk membawa gelak tawa di kehidupan kita
Sayang,
Doa kan aku bisa kembali
Karena disini setiap saat berarti mati
Dan jika di malam hari ku masih bisa merasakan selinting mariyuana sambil meneguk arak,
Berarti mungkin aku kan mati di hari esok nya, atau lusa nya
Adakah kau kan mengerti?
Karena surat ini, mungkin sudah baris yang keseribu kalinya, dari sekian banyak kata yang pelik dan getir, sedang kau tak layak mendapatkannya
Dan lembaran-lembaran itu hanya bisa tersimpan rapi dalam barak rombeng ku…











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